Sunday, October 19, 2008
Thinking about my Mom tonight.......
It has been two and a half months since my Mom passed away. Nights are often the time of the day that I think about my Mom the most. I don't know why it happens mostly at night. Maybe because the house is much more quiet, which it is seldom during the day (can you believe that with four kids). I walk through my living room and see a picture of her and wonder what she is doing now, and then say to myself "could she really be gone"? I've never dealt with death much until now, and I don't like the taste that death gives. It is harsh, sudden and painful. My Mom was so much a part of my life, so involved, such a friend, and such a support. Death just seems too final- too unknown - too out there! I wish I had it all figured out. I wish that I could say I am 100% sure there is a heaven (though I am hopeful of this). One thing I know for sure, life is not the same without her. The holidays are going to be especially hard. Yet, I want to make it special for my kids. I will try to remember how my Mom made the turkey & stuffing so yummy or how she made her home so warm and spirit filled. I will try! I will try............!
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3 comments:
Collette,
I just want you to know that I think of you and your family, your sister and your dad so often. And I do pray for you. I appreciate your honesty...gosh the things I think, you just lay right out there. As a nurse I have dealt with and deal with death often. I think about heaven and in my humanness wonder about it. Death is not something I ever want to think of or imagine especially for someone whom you love so dearly like your lovely mom. It makes me realize that I too will be where you are someday and I never want that day to come and yet I know that it will. I want you to know that you inspire me. I love seeing your beautiful photos and reading what is on your heart. I love to see how you enjoy the little moments with your kids and try to enjoy life and help them to enjoy the beauty of the fall. I cry for you and I take you to God in prayer...and ask that he give you peace. I know that you will do your mom proud during the holidays. Cause I know that part of her is in you. That is a cool thing that no one not even death can take from you. I will continue to pray for you. Know that you are loved.
Kristin
Colette,
I am sorry you are missing your Mom! I think we all wonder about heaven and question it, (and feel a little guilty to question it), but it is nice that you actually share that with us out loud! It is so refreshing to read your blog - even if you have a post that is a little sad. You are always your authentic self, a quality that the world loves you for! Love you friend,
Jenny
Thanks for your honesty.
Praying for you, dear friend.
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